The 250-pound heavyweight elephants in the room

We're far more likely to see Floyd Mayweather, Sr. reunited with his sanity than Wladamir and Vitali Klitschko getting into the ring with each other.

The ritual of post-fight interviews is one the fight fan knows like the back of his or her hand, and is sometimes an exercise in tedium. We know the three things that will inevitably be asked of the winner:

1. “Great performance, champ! Did you think you would be able to use x punch and y technique to beat him?”

2. “Did your opponent hurt you at any time? It seemed that x punch and y technique gave you trouble.”

3. “Who do you want to fight next, or will you give your opponent a rematch?”

Oh, and these perhaps, too:

4. (In a Floyd Mayweather or Paulie Malignaggi fight) “What round did you injure your hands for the 26th time?”

5. (In a John Ruiz fight) “Have you ever thought of selling your fight tapes to cure those with insomnia?”

In the case of the talented Klitschko brothers, question #3 is the one that always looms largest.

It was no more apparent than in older brother Vitali’s nine-round pounding of former Cruiserweight champ Juan Carlos Gomez last Saturday. No sooner had the aforementioned first two questions been asked (although #2 could have been skipped entirely) then came the third. Listening to Vitali try and come up with an opponent that excites him or anyone was akin to trying to come up with a list of honest politicians. Eventually, Klitschko just came up with a statement about how he wanted any available belts and would rule the heavyweight division with his brother.

You see, Vitali’s brother, Wladamir, basically took over the heavyweight division in his big brother’s absence. Vitali retired in early 2005, ostensibly having accomplished what he wanted to in the sport. His inspired performance in a TKO loss against Lennox Lewis 18 months prior had rebuilt his reputation back up, a reputation garnered by quitting on his stool in a fight he was winning against Chris Byrd back in 2000. He was a multiple time champion, and with sites set on becoming mayor of Kiev, Ukraine (the brother’s home country), it was time to call it a career.

As if the heavyweight division wasn’t devoid enough of contenders when Vitali (and Lewis) retired, by 2008, Wladamir was clearly heads and tails above ANYONE else left. As such decent fighters as Sam Peter, Sultan Ibragimov and Chris Byrd were defeated easily by Wlad, what was left wasn’t much more than sleep-inducing set of second-rate challengers. As if the circus-freak size of Nicolay Valuev to the over-the-hill Evander Holyfield wasn’t bad enough, possible challengers such as Ruslan Chagaev, Alexander Dimitrenko and Alexander Povetkin didn’t seem in a huge rush to get into the ring with Wlad. And even if they were, does anyone think they’d end up differently than Gomez?

So when Vitali came out of retirement last year, more than a few couldn’t understand it. By all accounts, it wasn’t for money. Who, then, was he coming out of retirement to fight? When Floyd Mayweather talks about coming back, it’s to fight Manny Pacquiao, Juan Manuel Marquez, a rematch with Ricky Hatton, any number of big matchups. With Wlad wiping out most of the heavyweight division already, it looked like Vitali would just fight whomever he could find, and that’s just what happened. First Peter (after Wlad had soundly defeated him), now Gomez, next Eddie Chambers? Maybe David Haye can instill a challenge, but he’s been a cruiserweight for years like Gomez; it would be more of a surprise than anything else if he was competitive. So who’s the challenge?

And therein lies the rub. It’s obvious the only fight that’s going to excite anyone is a fight between the Klitschko brothers themselves. And they’ve gone on the record numerous times saying they won’t fight each other, for any price. They tend to bristle even at the very idea. That’s completely understandable; they are family, and while I’m sure growing up they may have wanted to punch one another in the face from time to time, it’s a whole different game with career and brotherly love on the line. The thought of having to bust up your brother’s championship dreams as well as his face is probably too much to take.

However, as long as this stance continues, that third question is going to hang over heavyweight boxing like the proverbial elephant in the room. Until there’s some sort of viable threat to the Klitschko’s dominance, we’re all going to laugh while watching them answer that question. We’ll probably watch whomever they put in front of them for their next fights, too. But when it comes to forking over some PPV money to see a blockbuster prizefight that we’ve anticipated for months, needless to say, it won’t be featuring a Kitschko.